Who and what is lucky? Recently, since losing my job, some have told me that I’m “lucky”. Lucky in that I have a lot of free time. Especially because it’s summer and I can enjoy sitting outside on my deck in the middle of the day. Or sitting at Starbucks for hours, people watching and doing endless Sudoku puzzles. Others think that I’m lucky because there are hardly ever times in your life where you are able to truly figure out what you want to do and find the right job for yourself. I think of myself as lucky because I have an extremely supportive husband and family who is helping me get through this.
But, I also think I’m lucky because I am here. I am alive. I have a chance to make something of my todays and tomorrows. And as easy as it is to sit back and enjoy the summer and the relaxation that comes along with it, it is even more enjoyable to try and do something with your time. Each day that I make a schedule for myself and stick to it, I feel accomplished and satisfied because I know I have done what I have set out to do. The great thing about doing this is that the tasks at hand do not need to be complicated or elaborate. It can be simple things like keeping the house clean, making dinner from scratch each night, applying to a few jobs, reading, or making something with my hands (such as a wreath). All of these small things can be checked off a list. And can make you feel good about yourself.
You may ask why I’m writing this. The reason is that for the past few weeks, I’ve found myself in a funk. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety in the past and I could feel those same feelings creeping up on me. Thankfully, I was able to recognize what was going on and seek treatment. I started seeing someone and working on becoming a more positive version of myself. The true me. I got to a point where I realized I didn’t want to go down that path and instead, started turning things around. Since the turnaround I’ve been writing almost every day, coming up with positive things to keep in mind. I’ve also been practicing mindfulness, after I started reading a book my friend Jessica recommended called “How to Train a Wild Elephant: And Other Adventures in Mindfulness”. For the past few days I’ve been using my left hand as much as I can remember to and trying to focus on being present. It’s going to be something that takes time and practice, but I’m ready to take it on. It helps me appreciate the here and now.
I was also inspired to write about what’s really going on in my mind by MK‘s post called Blogging Bravely. I too think it’s important to open up about what’s really going on. It helps keep us connected and relate to one another. And it helps. It feels good. I hope to do more of it.
Also, I changed my blog template…again. I really like it this time. The header and the background are both photos of mine that I used in our wedding guestbook. I am a huge lover of scrabble and the rainbow checkered pattern is from a postcard of one of my favorite NYC restaurants, Vinyl. Let me know what you think!